Dylan: Inequality

I can’t remember the last time we talked to each other, but compared to how close we were a decade or so ago, we’ve now become strangers.  I know, we’ve both been busy but I feel mostly responsible because you’ve made some attempts to reach out and I’ve dismissed you almost every time.  It’s not your fault, it’s mine.

The truth is, the last time we really talked, I felt you weren’t treating me as an equal. You were condescending and insolent.  Maybe I deserved it, but until that point, I’ve always had the utmost respect for you.  

It wasn’t our first fight, but deep down, I knew it would be our last.  I mean, come on, did you really expect me to stay?  I shouldn’t have to have been subjected to that kind of behavior. 

Maybe you thought that was the only way to get through to me?  Maybe you never truly respected me, and felt that was what I deserved?  Maybe this was karma for how I treated someone else close to you?  I don’t know, and I don’t think I’ll ever learn the truth.

Anyway, I want you to know, I wasn’t rebelling for no reason.  For me, I felt compelled to say the things I said, and act the way I did.  Was I misinformed?  Maybe.  Maybe not.  All I know is that I did not ask for your opinion, nor did I ask for anything else you offered after that.

Up until that point, you were like a teacher to me.  I learned a lot from you and the way you treated others.  I think, because we were best friends, I needed to tell you the harsh truth.  I wonder how much of it actually sunk in?  Instead, your “reality check” made me check out of our friendship. 

It’s funny; up until now, I never really analyzed why things went south between us.  I know we both moved on in life and “let sleeping dogs lie” because more important things came up, which took priority.

Still, if you ever happen to read this, I want you to know: I was being pushed to my limit.  I should have better paced myself, and planned things better.  I should have controlled my emotions, and not let them get in the way of what I needed from you at the time.

Do I regret how things went down between us?  No.  It set me on a path which I was afraid to go down alone.  A path where I actually discovered and appreciated so many more beautiful things in life.  I don’t think I could have done all that while still being bound to our relationship.

What you need to know is that I had to sacrifice something big, to gain something even bigger.  Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually — you name it.  I was “growing”, and no longer fit the limited mold you had of me in your head.

A person’s character is what matters most in life.  It determines the quality of the people you keep around you.  I try not to judge people on anything, but if they choose to show their true colors and those colors are very flawed, then that says more about them than me.  

I don’t expect perfection in relationships, but at the very least I require respect.  Your disrespect is what broke us up.  I shouldn’t have to earn my place in your life again.  Our relationship was like an invisible contract, that is now null and void.  I used to think I owed you something, but I don’t owe you a damn thing.  The sun has now set on our relationship, and after all this time, I’m completely fine with it.

3 Comments Add yours

  1. Helen says:

    Lovely image! I agree it is sad when friends break apart either mutually or because one party feels disrespected. We expect friends to stay with us but sometimes it’s just not meant to be. Some people are meant to stay and some are meant to leave. we jus gotta trust that everything will work out ok

    Liked by 1 person

    1. yonkey2k10 says:

      Very true. Thanks for commenting, Helen!

      Like

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